"Happiness is not a fish that you can catch..."

crystalllllll @ 2007-04-28T21:36:00

2007-04-29T01:36:54Z

&

2006-10-07T03:13:12Z

they finally posted my secret.

pooglemaniacz

2006-09-20T00:32:24Z

I was on my way home the other day when a bright yellow old fashion beetle hurtled past me on the road. What caught my attention, however, was not the vibrant colour of the vehicle, but the bolded block letters written in black across the trunk, which read "ACCIDENT SQUAD".
It was quite an amusing sight. So amusing that I had to draw a picture of it.

[Edit: oh and there was a spotlight on the roof of the car XD]

crystalllllll @ 2006-08-05T00:16:00

2006-08-05T04:18:39Z

Sometimes I have this strange fear that everyone is watching me...watching every waking moment of my life...everything I do. They know all about me, from the first comprehensible word that sputtered out of my drooling mouth to what I eat every evening for dinner...but I guess they should..they've watched me grow up from the moment I was born. I'm like a science experiment to the world. I've been put under the microscope, and I'm being studied and picked apart by every individual on this earth.

But what I fear most is that my whole life has been nothing but a lie. I fear that my entire life has been set up and that everyone I know and trust are not really who I think they are. Everyone and everything that I thought I knew has really been nothing but a huge sham.

But then I reassure myself as I think, who in their right minds would have an interest in studying my life? They'd be watching me stare at my computer everyday while I click away on my internet games at hours on end. And I laugh as I realize that this crazy notion is nothing but a fear developed shortly after watching The Truman Show, and after a childhood of listening to one crazy story after another about my life, as told by my big sister.

The possibility still makes me a little uncomfortable sometimes..but really now...if you’d like to watch a 16 year old girl sit in front of a computer playing neopets everyday, go ahead. Feel free to watch for as long as you’d like.

where are we?
what the hell is going on?
the dust has only just begun to form
crop circles in the carpet
sinking, feeling

crystalllllll @ 2006-07-29T18:34:00

2006-07-29T22:37:20Z

Sometimes I wish I could just die for a day.
Not because I hate my life or because I'm suicidal (I'm not btw =P), but because I'm curious of what happens after life ends.
I was born and raised into a Christian family, and all my life I have accepted the theory that theres a heaven and a hell.
But I'm not so sure anymore...
If heaven and hell are inevitable, and you either go to one or the other after you die, why are there ghosts here on earth and people like Sylvia Browne who can communicate with them? (maybe she has some sort of weird psychic illness or perhaps shes just a big scam..i'll never know..)
And although I don't believe in it, don't you think it'd be exciting if people were really reincarnated after they die, and therefore we are all born over and over again, each time taking the form of a different human being, or perhaps even species?
And how do you know that after we die we don't just get completely wiped out of exsistance, our rotting bodies being the only thing that's left of us?
All these questions run through my head, and I can't stop thinking about life..and death...and life after death (if it exists).
Perhaps the answers are out there somewhere...perhaps there is a heaven and a hell...and maybe Christianity is the true faith..but my faith in it is just not strong enough yet...
I guess I'll just have to wait and see...

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Aint so far down